Shoe Me This

UGHly Shoes: Fishbones & Giuseppe Zanotti

I'm a girl who loves sushi but I would never want to wear the remains of my salmon roll. Why Giuseppe Zanotti thinks anyone would is beyond me.

While I don't find these "creepy" like the bloggers at The Fashion Police, I don't find them stylish either. To me, these say the designer was inspired by the contents of a garbage can. 

I do admit that I like skulls and crossbones but I get such fashion where it's cheap, like Target. But this Giuseppe Zanotti shoes are $995 at Zappos Couture. These shoes make me scratch my head and wonder who has the money to spend on such bizarre fashion.

Naughty Monkey Paris Stroll

Naughty Monkey's new shoes for fall 2008 include a design called Paris Stroll. It's available in a few color patterns but my favorite is the olive and blue. From a distance, the pattern looks like peacock feathers.

The rich colors are perfect for fall and the style is easy to dress up for work or down for jeans. The peep toe is a nice slight departure from Naughty Monkey's spring collection, which featured squared or metal-enforced toes. The metal embellishment is also a nice feminine touch and different from the giant buckles normally seen on this brand.

Despite the 3 3/4" heel, Paris Stroll is actually comfortable. If you're looking for them online, several shops have them on sale. The lowest price I found was in store at Off Broadway Shoes for $41.94.

Sergio Rossi Suami Gold Pump

All that shimmers is gold and we need a little gold these days. If you have $539 to spend on these shoes than you must have stockpiles of bullion, but even penny-pinchers need inspiration for their shopping trip to TJ Max.

I love the Sergio Rossi Suami gold pump. The fabric uppers look lush and provide movement. There is a high-fashion air about them in a 1970's kind of way. The lining and heel are leather and provide contrast next to the fabric. These shoes are on my must-have list.

Christian Louboutin Trottinette Ankle Boot

The weather is getting colder and it's time to start travel plans for Thanksgiving. What else does a girl need but a new pair of shoes when visiting family over the fast approaching holidays?

While Christian Louboutin shoes are far beyond my budget, they are not beyond my desire. These Trottinette ankle boots are no exception.

As with all Louboutin designs, the soles are red and perfect for the holidays.While I could say that the oversized buckle reminds me of Jolly St. Nicholas, I won't because I love it big buckles.

The only problem I have wearing these shoes for the holidays is the suede. While I enjoy wearing suede, I feel it's the summer's leather. Suede is no good if you are traveling in the rain!

Wearing the Trottinette, you'll be toasting your egg nog high with heels measuring 5.5 inches. These Christian Louboutin boots also boast a concealed one-inch platform, metallic piping and a zipper on the side.

UGHly Shoes: Heel-less Heels

I first spotted these odd shoes on who other than Victoria Beckham, the queen of impractical ready-to-wear. You'll find this type of S&M inspired fashion from designers like Antonio Berardi.

These shoes look like pure torture to me. Do you see how this poor girl's foot is contorted inside the shoe? Am I the only one that thinks of Chinese foot binding practices when looking at these heels?

I have yet to find a pair in a store but I promise to attempt walking in them when I do finally spot a pair.

You're probably wondering how it's even possible to walk in heel that offer no heel at all. According to blog post on The Cut, Hadley Freeman of the Guardian describe it as follows:
I think the trick is that the shoes are extremely heavy, because they are deliberately weighted in the platform base under the toe. This means that all your weight is forced forwards and then downwards, so you literally cannot tip backwards and there isn't any of that teeter-totter nonsense you get with normal heels.

Hopefully desigers will give up on this craziness and start working on shoes that a woman would actually be able to wear without looking stupid.

Juicy Couture Ever Flat

 

Looking to stand apart in the sea of black and gray this autumn? Try the Juicy Couture Ever flat in "gold glitter snake" or "harvest yellow."

Juicy's Ever is also available in more traditional colors like black and tan. The uppers are leather. The shoes are made in Italy and the heel is only 1/2" high. The over-sized gold buckle is fun and adds a touch of shimmer. In reviews on Zappos, I've also read that this shoe is comfortable and provides moderate arch support.

The common refrain you'll hear me say is that I love to wear heels. I feel tall and glamorous wearing them. Even more important is that it's difficult to find sexy flats. On the other hand, my feet are killing me from weeks (if not years) of heels well beyond three inces. My colleague in the next cube over from me always wears adorable shoes. These are usually flats. I often marvel at her collection. I'd happily add the Juicy Ever to my closet except that the price tag is beyond my reach at $247 at Couture Zappos.

YSL Trooper Platform Pump

Have you ever wondered whether to wear pumps or combat boots? YSL can provide the answer your wardrobe question with their Trooper Platform Pump.

The patent leather upper is great and, while this glamor shot doesn't show it, the insole is a brilliant turquoise. The crazy part is the golden platform with treads. I was confused over these shoes until I remembered the mullet. While the mullet gave us business up front and party in the back, the Trooper gives us business on top and butt-kicking on the bottom. 

I think I could only wear these shoes if Kristina decided to drag me to a Slayer concert. Sadly, the $695 price tag means I won't be wearing these to a concert anytime this century. I'll stick to flats for Def Leppard so I jump around like I'm insane during "Pour Some Sugar on Me."

Note: Big thanks to Scott Waxenburg's sharp shopping eyes. He found this very unusual YSL shoe at Neiman Marcus.

Rules for Wearing Leg Warmers

Today I decided to bring back leg warmers. Young celebrities, such as Lindsay Lohan, have been trying to revive the trend for a few years but with no luck on wide-spread appeal. I think this style would come back if more people know how to wear leg warmers without looking like Jane Fonda. Yes, you can wear them to the office. I did. Here's how to do it right... and what to avoid.

Do NOT pull the leg warmers up to your knees.

Leg warmers are not socks. You are supposed to scrunch them. They are not to be confused with long socks. This same Lindsay Lohan photo also lends itself to my next point...

Do NOT wear leg warmers with flip flops or summer shoes.

Leg warmers are supposed to keep your legs warm. It looks clueless to wear them in the summer and flip flops are summer time shoes.

DO wear hosiery with leg warmers.

You can wear sheer or nude pantyhose or match the color to your leg warmers as seen above.

Do NOT wear leg warmers with fishnets, like Britney Spears (above).

 

DO dare to be different.

Try different colors, patters, and materials. You can even try to wear them on your arms, like Hayden Panettiere. I'd normally be weary of wearing leg warmers as arm warmers, but Panettiere matches these with her shirt and looks fantastic!

Ready for more Do's and Don'ts?

DO NOT wear leg warmers over jeans or pants.

DO wear leg warmers with a skirt. Don't wear a micro-mini or you risk looking like a hooker. Try an A-line that ends an inch above the knee. You'll turn some heads and receive many compliments.

DO NOT wear leg warmers with tennis shoes.

DO wear leg warmers with heels.

Beads and Sparkle: Luichiny Gewel Heel

I do enjoy sparkle and if you do too, then Luichiny's Gewel is the perfect open-toed heel for you. I wore this pair a few weeks ago to work and my IT manager said: "Wow! You look like you have a party on your feet."

This adorable shoe is available in bone (which I own) or in pale green. The beading on either pair includes delicate shades of blue, pink. You'll find more gold accents on the bone pair and more green with the lime shoe. As you can tell, the beads come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Luichiny is also another brand where you'll find details on the sole, like this voluptuous heart.

I've taken these green version close-up photos from Zappos and another fashion blog because my soles are already scuffed. I bought my bone suede version from Off Broadway Shoes on their clearance rack for $15.

Irregular Choice Button Moon

Some shoes are simply fun and make you smile to wear them. That's how I feel about most of the Irregular Choice styles -- even the crazy and silly ones.

I discovered the Irregular Choice Button Moon shoe on a LiveJournal shoe community and followed the link there to a seller's page on eBay. I wish I had seen this shoe sooner. The winning bid on this gently worn pair was $15.00. While the shoe could may been a little big for me, I would have worn them regardless.

The photos on eBay were great. It makes me appreciate the attention to detail you can get with Irregular Choice. The leather green shoe with brightly colored buttons is whimsical and adorable. Lesser noticed elements, like a printed sole, are always a hallmark for this line.

Gotta get a pair for myself!